Dating Trends
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:: Quiet Parties
Up until recently, meeting someone at a bar could entail more shouting than sweet talk, as people struggle to be heard over the blaring music and rowdy crowds. For singles who are sick of going hoarse, there's now an alternative: Quiet Parties, events where people mingle by jotting down notes and passing them back and forth. Conversation is completely banned; even the most hushed "Come here often?" is met with a reprimand worthy of an old-school librarian.
"If people make noise, the other guests offer up a group ssshhh, and everyone giggles," says Paul Rebhan, who came up with the idea with his friend Tony Noe after they spent a Saturday night unsuccessfully scouring New York for a quiet place to talk to the objects of their affection. Since holding their first event in November 2004, Quiet Parties have spread to other cities, even as far as Beijing. Rebhan explains the allure: "The idea of going into a bar with 150 people where you can hear a pin drop is a very surreal experience," he says. "We've had people come, walk in, look around, and start laughing uncontrollably and have to go back outside, shake it off, and re-enter.
But can this unexpected silence and few scribbled sentences really lead to a love connection? Yes: Notes feel intimate, purely because someone took the time to write to you. "People find it quaint, reverting to something that's missing in society today," explains Rebhan. "It gives people time to reflect on what you're saying and also pause while it's being read. There's something sensual about it." And getting past the novelty can lead to dates. Rebhan's heard of guys passing notes like "Hey, you're really cute. Want to go talk somewhere?" with great results. To find or throw a Quiet Party near you, go to www.quietparty.com.
Amy Keyishian writes for various magazines, including Stuff, Redbook, and Marie Claire. An enthusiastic conversationalist, she's quite sure she'd get kicked out of a quiet party in no time.
2005.11.09, 6:32 AM
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:: Lock and Key Parties
The
prospect of mingling at a singles-only happy hour can leave even
the most outgoing types feeling wallflower-y: What do you say? How
do you strike up a conversation without resorting to cheesy lines?
One cool new solution: Lock-and-key parties, which can help you
break the flirting ice.
Here's how they work: If you're a woman, you get a lock-a standard-issue brass padlock, which you can wear on a cute chain around your neck. If you're a man, you get - you guessed it - a key. Then you make the rounds of the room, with nothing more original than "Let's see if we match!" as your opening line. If you find your match, great! You chat, see how well you get along-and, afterward, you get a new lock and key so you can mingle some more. Even if you don't get "locked up" during the event, you are guaranteed a chatty, fun hour or two.
"I was throwing ordinary singles events, and I realized I needed to provide a way for people to make a connection and get talking," says Christan Marashio of www.lockandkeyparties.com, which hosts a few of these shindigs every month in cities across the country. "People's biggest fear is rejection, and having a lock or a key as an excuse to talk really helps to take the pressure off."
How did Marashio come up with this idea? She decided to update the fondly remembered "nuts-and-bolts" parties of her college days. "I thought locks and keys would be a little less suggestive," she laughs. Indeed, the sexy subtext of fitting a key into lock is tough to miss... but very easy to banter about.
Amy Keyishian writes for a variety of magazines, including Redbook, Stuff, and Breathe. She fears the lock around her neck may be the combination kind.
2005.11.01,
9:40 PM
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